Enola Holmes, UK movie (2020)

Now where to begin? I suppose I should start with introducing myself. My name is Enola Holmes. Yes, I can see by that look on your face that you are quite surprised at finding me here, instead of the boy that usually runs this establishment. What’s that? Oh yes, forgive me, it’s not establishment but blog. I can’t get used to these modern times with all these fancy words. So, I guess I should start explaining myself then should I not? I was asked by the boy Michel who also goes by the rather dreadful name of Raistlin to go ahead and write a review for my own movie. Well, I say boy, but at 44 years of age he’s more of a man really, though he insists he’s not grown up at all. If you ask me he looks and sounds a bit like a nincompoop, but well it was rather nice of him to give me this chance, so I should give him a break. Now that I am here though, I find it rather hard to write and talk to you all. Can you maybe help me and give me some pointers as to how I should do this? Right, I guess it’s a good idea to maybe first talk a bit about who I am, and we will take things from there. I’m still wondering why I thought this was a good idea at the time but well, here I go. 

Give me a chance okay?

As I already said in the beginning of this tale, my name is Elona Holmes. You might think the name sounds familiar, and you would be right. You see my brother is the famous detective Sherlock Holmes. He, together with my other brother Mycroft Holmes, has left me alone at a young age and made quite the reputation for himself. Well, I say alone but that’s not exactly right, as my mother was there to raise me with a loving hand and has  turned me into the woman I am today. I look up to my mother, because you see she is quite the woman. She has learned me everything from playing chess to jujitsu, and also how to stand on my own two feet. Let me ask you how am I doing so far? I’m not boring you yet? I suppose I should get on with it then. As much as I love my mother I was quite angry with her when one morning I woke up and found her gone. This was quite the shock, especially when my two brothers whom I had not seen in many years turn up on my doorstep. Mycroft, who was now my legal guardian, wanted to me to go to a finishing school run by this awful hag called Miss Harrison. Oh, how I fumed at this!

That guy in the middle is Mycroft, such an annoying little twad!

I could not stand for this to happen. Instead of waiting around I began to use the one asset that I know for a fact is working quite properly: my brain! I could not believe how my mother would just leave me and not let me know where she had gone. It was not long before I discovered some clues as to her whereabouts inside the house, and off I went! Now I do know my brother Sherlock is no idiot, so I had devised this devious plan in multiple phases to distract him, as I know he would come after me together with that awful toad Mycroft! Once I was in the train bound for London, I began to relax, but then something utterly strange happened. Out of a bag that was in the compartment I was in, there tumbled a boy who introduced himself as young Viscount Tewkesbury. Well no matter what his title was, I thought he looked rather ridiculous. It turns out though that he was on the run, and in more dire straits then even he himself knew. Next to finding out where my mother was I was now also mixed up in Tewkesbury’s case! Not before long we were being chased by this dreadful looking chap with a bowler hat, who was trying to murder us. Can you believe it? 

Did you just say you don’t like my writing style?

Now there was one thing that Michel was very clear about. I was not to reveal any, what was the word again, ah yes spoilers for my movie. So I guess from here on out I will not go any further, and let you find out what happens next for yourself. Now my story takes place mostly in Victorian London, and I dare say that the moviemakers did a delightful job of bringing this era to life. The sets, costumes and atmosphere just look amazing, and even I myself think it’s quite believable for an audience to make them think they are reliving those times. It’s quite strange for me to talk about who plays my character, but I suppose that’s just me being silly really. They are called actors, and well the very talented Millie “Stranger Things” Bobbie Brown in her infinite wisdom chose me to play. And she did a wonderful job as well. She is quite charming, witty, and quite honestly carries this movie. You can’t help but fall in love with the enthusiasm she shows in playing me, and we can only hope she wants to go on this adventure again. My brother Sherlock is played by superman. No really, he is, or well he played superman once I guess, you know him as Henry Cavill. 

Did you just say…superman?

Even though it was clearly a supporting role, he did a good job too, and I think it might even be a good idea to give him his own movie at some point. But well, maybe I’m just a little biased. There are a lot of other actors who deserve praise too, but since I’m running late I guess I also need to talk a bit about the film itself. Is it a rip roaring tale of adventure you ask? Well, honestly it’s a tad bit slow. With nearly two hours of running time I did find myself looking at the clock at times to see if it was nearing it’s end. And it’s my own movie, can you believe that?! I also talk to the audience in the movie, and well Michel quite enjoyed that, but I suppose there are people who might find that slightly annoying. This movie is clearly aiming for a younger audience, but still, unless you have a really pessimistic outlook on life, it’s hard to not find some delight in this film as an adult too. So how to conclude? My movie is a film that in these dark times that you are all facing, gives you a wonderful feel good experience. Yes, I admit it could have been better, and I might be a little bit disappointed by it, but overall it’s still a nice little film that hopefully will be the start of a franchise. Well? How did I do for this first time? Did you enjoy my writing? Oh yes, the grade, almost forgot about that. 

I give my movie that’s aptly named Enola Holmes a 7 out of 10 score. 

Hey, that’s me! Well..kind of….